CHAPTER IX


A DECISION TAKEN




	Leoynar riveted his eyes, in unison with all others in the room, on Chief Guillen in wary 
anticipation when Sergeant Terglyn finished recounting past events.  Terglyn had been forthright 
with all facts dispassionately reported but Leoynar had a feeling the young Sergeant was holding 
back many private details.  

	Chief Guillen was observing Dama Edina sitting tranquilly in an armchair near a Simu-
fire tableau.  While the heating had been reenergized and the fierce chill had dissipated during 
the night, an air of subdued mourning hung heavily around the castle.  The two of them had 
arrived in Larkae from Myarvil in the early hours of dawn and witnessed scattered damage 
throughout the town, caused by what the Larkaeans called a "stray earthquake".  There were 
some injured but none had perished.  A second Myaron, they thought gratefully, this place had 
not become. 

	Casteltheyne appeared, soaring heaven-high through the belt of morning mist solid as a 
fortified hamlet of towers, grim and strong, although on a closer view they saw that many 
windows had cracked in the disturbance. 

      Terglyn had already forewarned the Lar of Castelmoer of their intended coming and 
when the aero had glided to a stop Lar Huigo hastened down the marble staircase and bade them 
welcome.  He brought them into the study where the visitors were introduced to Dama Edina, 
Cestor Vrillenar and a morose Superpre with a lipfleece drooping in defeat.  

	When Terglyn fell silent, Chief Guillen addressed the assembly in general:  "I realize that 
mere expressions of condolences can never really soften your grief but nonetheless I offer you 
my sincere condolences for your grievous losses."

	Dama Edina looked at him as if she saw his face clearly in her mind.  "We all know that a 
price has to be paid for correcting a mistake.  Casteltheyne has been redeemed from a past error 
but the price is heavy.  No one could have foreseen the outcome but from this, I tell you all, a 
new force will come into being.  Don't grieve too much for the sacrifice was necessary.  

	"Eugene Trevarthen has made his choice to seek redemption elsewhere.  Eirini, Cestor 
Vrillenar, has been forced to make a choice as well but she will endure hardship and survive.  
Young Vitor has chosen his salvation in death.  As for your Captain, Chief, is he all right?  We 
were hoping that he would return to the castle but we were all waiting for him in vain.  He didn't 
show up."  Dama's gentle voice veiled a tone of disappointment.

	"My Dama," Guillen said, "I have spoken with Captain Schurell and he has requested a 
leave of absence.  I have granted him that."  He frowned as he recalled his past conversation with 
Trajan, how exhausted and battle-scarred he sounded, without even having waged a full-scale 
war.  "Has something else come about in the shed, Sergeant Terglyn?"

	"Chief," Terglyn answered, "I have told you everything."

	"Hmm," the Commander-in-Chief grunted, frowning darkly at Terglyn.  Then he 
shrugged. "My Lar Moritz, my Dama, my tight-lipped Sergeant here has inspected the shed and 
reported that nothing but ashes remain of Professor Moritz's experiment.  In that case Captain 
Schurell has acted thoroughly.  The Sergeant, who is also one of our finest heavy firearms 
specialists, has dismantled the crude explosive devices around the shed.  It appears the worst is 
behind us but--."  The Chief briefly paused and rubbed his chin.  "Lar Leoynar has come along 
at my bidding because it will be easier for you to accept a necessary legal process coming from 
him as Lar's Kindred than coming from the Command."

	"What Chief Guillen is trying to say," Leoynar said, "is that the Stewardship has to 
conduct an investigation and to do their work they need access through the grounds of the 
castle."  While speaking, Leoynar took out a folio from his jacket.  "This is the easement that 
you need to sign, Lar Huigo, to grant access to the Stewardship only through the woods to the 
shed behind the brick wall.  I am convinced they will finish the job quickly and after that, the 
case will be closed and I will see to it personally that the easement is discharged.  In the official 
version of events the Command has never stepped into the affairs of the Protectorate of 
Castelmoer."

	"Lar Leoynar, Commander-in-Chief," Huigo said warmly, "I thank you for your 
thoughtfulness and expediency.  Your commanders have proven themselves with outstanding 
valour.  Sergeant Terglyn, for instance, stayed awake through the night and managed to get the 
main control and heating systems back in working order.  His strong resolve pulled together a 
demoralized household.  I give him my warmest praise."

	Chief Guillen nodded.  "It will not go unnoticed in the Command and I praise you, Lar 
Moritz, for showing your strength during what must have been a period of unbearable stress.  Do 
you know what happened to your, um, lodger?"

	"He gave us the slip last night."  Deyron broke in cuttingly from his isolated corner.  
"Although one perpetrator has vanished into somewhere, I still have one perpetrator here whom I 
have to bring to remand.  I will have my own warrant ready for you to sign, Lar Moritz, unless 
the Command wants to do something about it."

	Chief Guillen crinkled his nose as if he was thinking hard, and the corners of his mouth 
twitched as he said:  "Perpetrators are for the videts, I am afraid." 

	"Do whatever you have to do, Superpre," Dama Edina said gently, "but I doubt you will 
find him in Castelmoer, ever.  He vanished at the exact time as his other half crossed into the 
other Sphere.  He is free of us as we are of him, at last."

	"And that's another thing I don't understand," Deyron said in a voice peppered with 
frustration.  "What is that place?  The 'Sphere' you call it where they were sucked into, yes, 
literally swallowed up by a whirlpool of tremendous light!"

	"I don't think we should be wasting time discussing the subject," Leoynar cut in. "It is a 
matter of such profundity that I would rather you, and all of us here, let it rest.  For you, 
Superpre, bring your perpetrator to remand, if you must.  To you, Lar Moritz, Dama Edina and 
Cestor Vrillenar I extend my deepest personal condolences.  As an outsider I will never be able 
to comprehend fully the affliction you have had to endure during all those long cycles but as my 
Dama has ascertained, it has been corrected. There is no reason to stop you from carrying on 
with your lives as it should be.  I advise you sincerely, please do so, put it all behind your back, 
and take what life has to offer you."

	Cestor Vrillenar said with surprising steadfastness in his voice:  "We certainly will.  
Eirini is beyond our help but she has always been able to help herself.  My daughter has 
remarkable strength.  My worry lies with Marth.  Vitor was not exactly a doting nephew but he 
was all that Marth had left and losing him was a heavy blow. I will stay at Marth's side to help 
him through an extremely difficult period."  

	"And you can both stay at Casteltheyne for the rest of your lives," Huigo assured him.  

	With that the guests considered they had completed their business at Casteltheyne.  
Superpre Deyron was the first to leave, breezing out with noisy steps as if in want of air, closely 
followed by Terglyn.  	Coming onto the gravel way Terglyn found to his relief and joy that the 
long awaited cleansing snow had come and was descending from the sky in white fluffy webs.  
Looking into his SpanRacer he also found a message had arrived. 

	"Chief," he called to Guillen as the latter came thumping down the grand staircase. "The 
Captain is presently in Ferngarthen."

	"Is he?" Guillen turned round to look at Leoynar.

	Terglyn went on carefully:  "Lar Alden has been taken gravely ill and they expect you to 
come to Ferngarthen as well, Lar Leoynar." 

	"Then I must go," Leoynar said and drew Guillen aside.  "Is there a message?  Is there 
anything you want me to say to Trajan?"

	Chief Guillen moodily shook his head.  "No, he is on leave.  I have to give him time and 
whatever his present state of mind is, you ought to give him time as well. 

	Minutes after Leoynar's aero was consumed by the densely falling white mass, Chief 
Guillen climbed into the SpanRacer.  Sealing the door he sighed heavily:  "What am I going to 
do with you, Sergeant?"

	Terglyn's hand froze before the control panels.  "Chief?"

	"From your records I know you are better off in far space than on the ground.  I am not 
going to reassign you to Captain Royan's unit in Myaron.  I have a better idea.  We are going to 
complement the Spacio Command with a ground and sea command.  Report to Command 
Headquarters in Frairimont for a briefing.  There is an opening for Second Lieutenant in a new 
naval contingent in Estelmar.  All right, Lieutenant, show me your famous Terglyn manoeuvres 
in snowfall."

	"As you command, Chief!" Terglyn said, his eyes shining.  

* * *

	From an undamaged picture window Huigo watched the aeros winging out of his domain, 
first one then the other, out of sight but never completely out of mind.  Dama Edina stood at his 
side with her hand gently touching the window pane, feeling the snow flakes fluttering against 
the glass. 

	"Are you in love with Eirini, Huigo?" she asked.

	When no answer was forthcoming, she rephrased:  "Would you have been able to give 
her what she was looking for?"

	Huigo's reply came with calm resignation:  "No, Grandmother, I think not.  Her delicate 
frame may render an impression of frailty and helplessness but from the first moment I saw her I 
knew she possessed the will and strength many of us were lacking.  I admire her and the better I 
know about her qualities the more I realize giving her Casteltheyne, even the whole of 
Castelmoer, would not be enough."  

	Having said it Huigo looked at his grandmother with a contented smile as if he had 
expunged from his mind a great weight and slipped an arm around her waist.  

	"You are going to leave the southern wing, aren't you and live with us again?"

	"My charge has left, my duties have been fulfilled. Yes, dearest Huigo, I will share my 
life with you again.  It has been such a long time. And the wandercats have returned, with kittens 
too."

	Dama Edina took his arm and he led her away from the windows to the glow of the Simu-
fire.

	"Is Anjelie Trevarthen still with us?"

	"She has left early in the morning, without saying a word."

	"Good." Dama Edina breathed deeply and smiled. "Then for Casteltheyne it is all over!"

* * *

	Concurring with the Verimur Sanatorium's prognosis there was little that could be done 
for a lingering sickness that no one could put a name to, Lar Alden decided to spend his last days 
in Ferngarthen.  He was weakening by the day and at long last was unable to leave his bed.  
Norielle spent all her nights at his bedside while Leoynar would relieve her during the mornings.  
Adilar had also returned from Myaron, and he and Chamberlain Grysal took turns minding the 
kitchen and the household in general.  Trajan strictly kept to himself and made a habit out of it, 
giving the impression that he was not there, but his absence in the dining-room made his 
presence in Ferngarthen all the more conspicuous. 

	Leoynar knew from Norielle that in the evenings he would sometimes quietly slip into his 
grandfather's room and Norielle would leave the two of them alone.  What was said between 
them, if they spoke at all to each other, only Trajan could tell.  Apart from those scanty visits he 
only left his room to take long walks in the snow with no companions other than the family of 
kingwolfers.  Adilar told him that he even bought toys for the two cubs and Grysal told him that 
a cub one night followed Trajan home much to the consternation of the chamberlain who chased 
it away back into the woods.  

	What happened in the shed?  And who was Eirini Vrillenar and what role did she play in 
Trajan's life?  

	Leoynar recollected an earlier episode of his life, an incident he thought he had left as far 
behind as possible but in times like this it would never fail to rear up from the soil of the past like 
a venomous thistle.  He too had once been deeply in love, or so he thought, until that fateful day 
when Lisaloran had sliced out a piece of her skin and mocked his fatherhood.  Lisaloran's 
contempt was a brand of shame and at that time there was not only pain but also anger as he 
sought to punish everyone close to him with false tidings of his death.  

	But Trajan was hurting with a different grief, a deeper anguish.  Leoynar felt chagrined at 
his own paltriness, unable to help, unable to cross the threshold of Trajan's room to offer solace 
he did not know how to give.  It was Norielle who was holding them all together, steady as a 
rock, saying very little but doing much more.  A gentle press of the hand here, a consoling caress 
there and taking the brunt of sleepless waking on her shoulders; they would all have floundered 
like leaking ships in a storm without her strength and devotion.

	Eight days passed and Alden regained some measure of alertness in the morning of the 
ninth day.  He remained lucid the whole day until early evening when Norielle summoned 
everyone to his room.  As they gathered around his bed they saw plainly he was already on the 
way out even though his eyes were clear and steady when he looked upon them.  He lifted up his 
hand and took Leoynar's.  His grip was surprisingly firm but the last words he whispered were 
for his eldest son alone.  

	Leoynar tucked the limp hand back under the coverlet and looked hard at Trajan's 
impassive face, wishing his nephew would break up in little pieces or throw a fit instead of that 
frightening silence.  Trajan was the first to leave.  Leoynar's made an abrupt movement to go 
after his nephew but Norielle held his arm and said, "Let him be, Leoynar, he has already shed 
his tears at his grandfather's side at nights." 

* * *

	The next morning Norielle softly knocked on Trajan's door and upon entering saw him 
sitting and brooding before the Simu fire.  A carrier case was on his bed, the lid open, its bare 
contents telling more than words could.  

	"What am I going to do, Mothy?" he asked without turning to face her, "I don't know 
what to do." 

	Norielle put the tray that she brought in on a side table and as she stood beside him laid a 
hand on his shoulder.  "I have never seen you so lost, Trajan.  You always knew what to do even 
when commanders lost their lives on dangerous patrols." 

	"Commanders know what dangers they are facing but through my inaction, an innocent 
young Praecel was killed and I should have prevented it." 

	"Trajan, you did everything you could.  You and all the others at Casteltheyne were 
caught in a desperate situation but you have lifted a dark cloud that has been hanging over the 
castle."  He stared at the fire crimpling in blue and orange, a hand supporting his head and said 
nothing.  She hunched over, an arm around his shoulders, her cheek close to his.  He is too young 
to struggle with so much grief, so much pain, and she could feel that what he had absorbed was 
grieving with him as one.  "I have spoken with Terglyn, and also with Chief Guillen who told me 
what Krystan wanted you to do."  

	"Yes, the mission," his voice broke, "--find me--, she said.  But where, how, can I find her 
when I have a mission to do!" 

      She hugged him closer still.  "Remember in Myaron I told you that there were other 
things to tell?  Listen to me, the time has come to tell you more and knowing the truth you will 
know what to decide.  

	"Yes, you are younger than Adilar but only for a season.  Adilar and you are born in the 
same cycle, Cycle 150 of Fourth Radix, which means you two are of the same age.  But to all 
appearances Krystan and I could not register your birth until Adilar was at least a cycle old.  You 
are a firstborn too, Trajan." She paused, as if uncertain how to begin or reluctant to begin at all,  
He took a brief glance at her and saw the same deep turmoil in her eyes as on that day in Myaron 
when she had to reveal part of the secret she was keeping.  Her grip on him was as intense as if 
she feared the rest of the secret would cause him to fade away.  

	"Adilar's birth was a great gift to me, to Krystan and to your grandfather but even so, I 
saw Krystan was ill at ease, as if he was waiting for something to happen.  He received a 
message at Ferngarthen a season later, a message that both excited and troubled him.  I was 
disturbed as well because he had to leave for Evening Star without delay.  Krystan and I took 
many trips to Vestre together but this time he wanted to go on his own.  There was a good reason 
of course why I couldn't accompany him because Adilar was still a little baby.  The other reason 
was more distressing because he needed to go to a wild part of Vestre, to that region bordering 
Aberon.  I had grave feelings of foreboding while he was gone but he wasn't away for long.  He 
was back with us after only a few days, both saddened and glad.  Glad because he brought us 
another gift, you.  Saddened because those who had brought you into this world, decided they 
couldn't stay in Vestre and had to leave, and leave through that hole above Aberon."

	Trajan now turned round to look at her and his face was as white as the snow blanketing 
the gardens of Ferngarthen.  "Why?" he whispered and his eyes blurred with tears, "why did they 
have to leave?"

	Norielle clutched him to her bosom, running her fingers through his hair moistening his 
face with her own tears.  "Trajan, dearest son," she whispered, "I don't know why.  I only know 
when Krystan brought you back from Evening Star, a little bundle swaddled in so many sheets 
and woollies as if the ones who had surrendered you were covering you up against harm, I will 
love you always.  Knowing your history will change nothing for you.  It will not change me or 
Adilar. Your grandfather knew and loved you until the very end.  When you go away, how far 
you are, wherever you are, remember it Trajan, remember you have a mother here, and a 
brother!" 

	She kissed his brow as he remained motionless, his hands clenched and Norielle rocked 
him gently in the way she did when Krystan had first put him as an infant in her arms.  

	--"I cannot tell you who his parents are, Norielle," Krystan had said in his voice so well 
remembered for its gentle strength. "Only know that he is like me, a Schurell, a firstborn 
Schurell, born on Evening Star."-- And she had felt then so much richer being mother of two 
healthy boys and her father had been ecstatic of having two grandsons in less than a cycle.  

	"Mothy," Trajan said and when she looked in his eyes she saw the commander had 
returned, "Grandfather knew but not Adilar." 

	"No, Trajan, only you can tell him." 

	Trajan nodded.  "I will go and speak to Adilar.  There is one other thing I have to ask of 
you, Mothy, you and Uncle Leoynar.  I couldn't come to Grandfather with this request but now 
that he is gone, you two can make the decision as the surviving grandchildren of Lar Irwain."

	Norielle could not immediately find words to speak after hearing what he had to say.  
"Do you think it is necessary?" came her hesitant question. 

	"Yes, we all need to know."

      She rose to her feet. "I will take this up with Leoynar.  Have you decided, Trajan?"

	"Yes, I have."

	"Trajan," said Norielle, gazing into his eyes and her hands firmly holding his shoulders, 
"beware that the name Schurell is being hunted in the Other Sphere.  Never use it openly.  Make 
yourself known as Ermiz who you are also!"

* * *

	Hours later Leoynar came by, perceptibly with the intention of finding Trajan in his room 
but finding to his surprise Norielle instead busily packing a case on the bed.  She smiled briefly 
when their eyes crossed.  

	"Is Trajan going away?"

	"For a few days only.  He wants to report back to Frairimont for duty."

	Leoynar raised his eyebrows, a question lingering on his lips and Norielle quickly said, 
"You've come by at a perfect time, dear brother, because there is something we have to discuss."

	After hearing out his sister, Leoynar fell into an uneasy silence.  He walked over to the 
picture windows and looked down, his arms crossed, tapping the floor restlessly with this foot, 
one part of him wanting to know but the other part dreading the truth.  "Is it necessary?"

	"After some thought, I think it is.  It might not bring closure but we all need to know."

      Leoynar said distractedly, "Adilar and Trajan are on the lawns, and playing with wolver 
cubs of all things!  Never before have kingwolvers come so close to the house.  And Trajan, he is 
looking his old self again!" He half-turned and said in a relieved voice, "You've managed to turn 
him around, Norielle."

	"No, he has turned himself around.  And what is your decision, Leoynar?"

	"You are right, Norielle, we need to know.  We will sign the order and open the vault."

	Norielle smilingly took his hand and they walked out of the room with arms linked. 
"Let's go and tell Trajan.  And then we have to drag him back to the dining-room and feed him 
drastically.  He must be well fed before he goes on his mission."  

	"A mission?" Leoynar queried but his mind became immediately preoccupied with other 
pressing matters which needed to be attended to.  

* * *

	Lar Alden had passed on in the peace and quietness of Ferngarthen and surrounded by the 
ones he loved most but his funeral service, on the insistence of Dama Clarya, was a grand affair.  
His body was interred in the mausoleum at Trevarthen Hall with all the ceremony and grandeur 
befitting the passing of a noble Lar.  

	The Smaller of the HeliĆ had started to emerge out of chrysalis like a dull-red 
inflammation on the western cheek of the Greater in the commencement of Joining.  As HeliĆ 
shine threw a shawl of nacreous sheen over the frozen landscapes of Trevarthen Hall, friends and 
kindred gathered on the lawns before the mausoleum.  

	All the officers and commanders of Trajan's former unit together with officers and 
rescuers of Adilar's present unit and their commanding officers, Chief Guillen and Marshall 
Lauren, jostled shoulders with Lar Rylan Wryn, Dama Clarya, Lukus Stratken, Josrin Grahn, 
Fredric Lamidor, Dennil Laengx, and Maea, and other prominent citizens of Myaron, amongst 
them Ricar Myar and Director Milraus.  The ceremony ended with Lar Alden's two grandsons 
planting two icerosin thornbushes beside his milky-white plaque, which lay next to the plaques 
of Valorin and Glynmoran Trevarthen.  

	The same gathering would meet again on a more festive and joyful occasion after the 
Smaller of the HeliĆ had got its satisfaction from the Greater in the Great Eclipse and Tyro of 
Cycle 171 of Fourth Radix was just round the corner, when Lieutenant Arthvirian Terglyn took 
Maea Trevarthen in union. 

	The snow was melting from the plateau of the House of Ermiz and many thought it was 
only fitting for Terglyn, to be wedded in the mansion and domain of his former Captain.  On a 
dim morning when Great HeliĆ Face was still lurking gibbouslike behind the Smaller, Arth and 
Maea sealed their union with a pledge of honour and faith in the guest hall of the House of 
Ermiz.  Terglyn sliced out a piece of his skin as a token of Giving and put it in a glass of 
crystalcrest wine.  Maea drank up the wine, pledging her Taking of her master in union and after 
that instead of bandaging Terglyn's laceration she put her lips to it and sucked the wound dry in 
truly Calidan fashion.  Once the solemn moments were over the guests spilled out to the gardens 
outside and festivities commenced with great fanfare.  

	Fredric perched on a wide balustrade and viewed the merry scene before him with a big 
smile on his face: two separate groups darting round two cylinders, playing the Game of 
Spinning Rays.  The cycle is nearing completion, he thought.  When Captain Royan threw him a 
fusion hand gun he joined in the merriment, yelling a loud whoop.  

	Trajan observed the merrymaking from another corner of the garden.  The ache was still 
there, the emptiness Eirini left behind, Eirini who should be standing at his side, glowing and in 
high spirits like the others.  Now the decision was made, he would take the path with no 
hesitation, looking back only to give his blessings to the ones he would be leaving and promising 
them he would return home one day.  He was happy for Arth Terglyn and Maea who deserved 
each other, especially for Arth, faithful Arth who was a witness to his private pain and never 
broke confidence.  Happy for Adilar who would soon settle down in Trevarthen Hall as its Lar 
and Master; for Dama Clarya who would be the proud new Dama Administrator of Ermizgarth; 
for Rylan Wryn whose protectorate had been lifted from the Tres-Tiorem mandate and who had 
proven himself to be the wisest and most considerate of all Lar Protectors; for all the others who 
would carry on and prosper in Iucari-Tres. 

	--'The path you are to tread has many pitfalls, Trajan, but steel yourself that what you are 
doing is not only for yourself but for others as well.'--

      "I will do it for Iucari-Tres, My Sphere always, I will protect you."